Without

Apr 07, 2008

Hunger fuels people to do things they would never do. Days without fresh water and any substantial food had left him so ill that he could hardly stand. His skin barely clung to his thinning frame. His fingernails were long and disfigured with a lack of proper nutrition. He would not live long. He clutched his lucky shark’s tooth necklace as his crimson eyes looked out the window with a quickly fading glimmer of hope. There was nothing left to hold on to. Nothing left to hope for.
The sky outside was sinister. The darkness seemed to envelope the ship. Looking out of one of the windows showed everything, and nothing. A sky full of black and glitter was not enough to keep sane. After the last engine blew and our radio contacts were lost, we knew we would be trapped in this steel sarcophagus until someone found us, or didn’t. As time went by, we began to know that the Spaceship Trepidation would be lost forever with us inside. In the steel cabinets above the controls, were packets of freeze dried food. Mission control insured us before we departed that there was enough food to last months. But each day our supply began to thin and soon, the cool gray base of the cabinet was hinting through the plastic bags. It seemed to be a very ominous image, for neither of us ever looked at it. We shifted the food packets around after we consumed them, so as to form a sort of mask. Although we had begun rationing greatly, we knew our supplies were dwindling.
Our water supplies were also getting lower than comfortable. I turned off the power to the freezer in hopes that some of the ice would melt and could be consumed. However, the sun beat down on the Trepidation and soon we were living in an inferno. This, doubled with the lack of drinkable water, had made him more ill. His eyes drooped and what little water his body had, seemed to drip in his tears. His mouth was open and his lips were chapped. His tongue looked so dry and lifeless. He appeared already dead, but the intermittent blinks told me otherwise. The more I looked at him, the more comfortable I got with the idea. If he were already dead, what harm would it do? My body could survive just a bit longer. Maybe long enough to be rescued. I looked out the window directed towards Earth, and the thought vanished as I saw how very small it looked from here. In the back of my suffering mind, I knew I would never step on the ground again. I would never smell the polluted air or watch the dogs running in the park. I would never kiss my wife again or argue with my mother about silly, unimportant matters. I would never see my daughter take her first steps. I began to cry but I quickly stopped myself for fear of thirst. How very depressing to not be able to cry about my eminent death. As I glanced over I noticed that he hadn’t moved in quite some time. I floated over to where we was laying and pressed my head against his hollow chest. No breaths came from his lifeless body. I felt for a pulse on his wrists but there was nothing. He had escaped. He had gotten away and was surely on his way to a better place. After a quick prayer I gathered up the body bag and other supplies needed to dispose of his body. I carefully placed his empty shell into the plastic bag and zipped it closed. I floated over to where the controls were to grab some paper to make a makeshift tombstone to staple to the side of the bag. As I opened the cabinet door I realized that only one food packet and half a bottle of water were remaining. I looked back at the bag and blacked out. The last thing I remember was the sound of the zipper, and the taste of blood. I came to much later and could not find the body of the man I spent the last three years training, working, and joking with. I searched the entire vessel but saw nothing out of the ordinary. I figured I had fainted due to such restrictions on my diet. Returning to the control room, however, I saw my greatest fear. The bag I had placed his body in was unzipped and the only thing that remained was his bright white space suit wrinkled limply inside. As I picked it up, I saw the blood splattered skeletal remains of a human being, and his shark’s tooth necklace. I suddenly realized what had happened. Soon my body began to shake and my eyes burned and felt as though they were sinking into my skull. I blinked slower and slower.
I doubled over with pain in my stomach. I felt light and thought of nothing but my family. My life flashed before my eyes. I remembered the way my mother used to try to make pancakes but always ended up burning them. I remembered the way I met my wife and how I nearly ran away screaming for fear of her turning me down for a date. I remembered the time I brought her to the little Mexican restaurant on the corner because it was her favorite and ended up proposing to her by the end of the evening. I remembered when she wanted me to take a day off work and go with her to the doctor because she had suspicion that she was pregnant. I remember when the doctor walked in with a gleaming congratulatory smile and told us that she was. I remembered when my daughter was born, and the first thing she looked at with her big blue eyes, was me. I remembered everything.