Since it is a disservice to my vanity to once again expose myself to the relentless judgment of yet another virtual community, I'll caution to remain vaguely candid and covertly boastful. I'll protect my wounds by pointing out my own vices, at least the ones I'm comfortable mentioning, and adorn them with exclamation marks in order to compensate for my inability to convey tone without auxiliary symbols and onomatopoeia. Thereby claiming some people's pity and Schadenfreude.