This is Trespassing

Jul 10, 2008

Why did I go to a place where I did not belong? What compelled me to push past each exit sign until I could go no further? And at that point, why did I revisit the sanctuary that I no longer have the rights to? Perhaps it was the sad song through the speakers that told me to park under the tree. But it had to be me that unlocked the door and stepped out.

It was not foreign; I had visited this place in my mind's eye since that final day, years ago. I knew what it was going to look like, and strangely, I had hit that picture dead-on. I looked all around me at the neighborhood. No one was watching.

I headed straight for the trail around the bushes I used to think I discovered myself; it was still worn down. For a moment, I stood among the trees, safely hidden from anyone's eyes. A lizard scrambled loudly under an old car that didn't seem too out of place. This was the perfect spot, and if I could, I would have lay on the ground there until sunset. But my curiosity was screaming, so I crept along the side of the yard, exposed to those tall, open windows, hoping there was no one watching from inside.

Somehow, I managed to get to the back porch, where I looked in the clear glass of the top half of the door. It wasn't quite like the old yellow door that I had slammed behind me all those times before, racing to my big black bike in the backyard. But, past this new door, the change was even more apparent. Everything inside was shiny and new. An Oreo cookie container lay haphazardly in the garbage. Granite counter tops, smooth wood cupboards, a stainless steel fridge. It had all changed without me.

My mistake was, on the way out, looking into those ceiling-high windows. Why did I figure no one was home if the back door had so obviously been unlocked? I pressed my face against the glass to avoid the glare. To my horror, an old woman was in a recliner in the room, staring directly at me, in complete shock.

Though she did not realize, I belonged there far more than her. And I did not belong at all. For, in the end, I was only Melanie Geyser.